The Wonderstudy 

by Colecteev

Phase: a stage in a person's psychological development, especially a period of temporary unhappiness or difficulty during adolescence or a particular stage during childhood. 

It's funny how we use the same word to describe our biggest challenges during adolescence or childhood, as well as the different presentations of the moon. Something similar can be said about how it all depends on the angle and the lighting of a situation to fully grasp our hands on an opinion of a subject or a person. Take Sofia Carregha Lozano, for example, an extremely talented actress who's physical appearance never changed in her adulthood but her views on herself took a recent turn. After accepting the role of Ensemble, and understudy for the 2 main roles of an Off-Broadway production of Kinky Boots, Sofia felt nervous. She'd be facing a huge challenge, memorizing 3 different tracks, a full show worth of lines, and the equivalent of an hour long dance party of choreographies. 

Phase 1 - New Moon: It may seem like a beginning, a start from zero, but just because we can't see the moon does not mean she's not there. Sofia has always been a complete artist as mentioned before. The only difference was her perspective on herself. The amount of lines, dance moves, lyrics, harmonies, and tracks seemed overwhelming. However, she trusted her skill, focusing on "Como sí se puede" (How it IS possible), a phrase her dad constantly repeated to her during her childhood. 

Phase 2 - Waxing Crescent: The learning began. Little by little, this over achiever of a performer started learning, not only by watching and reading, but also by recording and repeating. Sofia recorded from voice memos to videos, wrote notes into books of notes. She felt prepared, but how prepared? I mean, so far it's all been technical. What would happen if she actually went on and realized it was all for nothing since her brain wouldn't retain the information? Which brings us to... 

Phase 3 - First Quarter: The first reality check. It was the Sitzprobe. For those of you, unfamiliar with this noun. Sitzprobe is a rehearsal in musical theater and in opera where the orchestra and singers perform together for the first time. On this special day, one of the main characters was unable to attend. Giving Sofia, the opportunity to put to the test her research and ability to do the job she was hired to do. She arrived at the theater expecting to sing the background harmonies, and was surprised after sitting on a chair with the bittersweet news. With a hand on her heart and the other on her notes, she delivered an incredibly flawless performance. That's where the nickname "Wonderstudy" was born. 

Phase 4 - Waxing Gibbous: Weeks went by, and the wonderstudy's confidence grew bigger. Stepping in for absent members, knowing exactly what to do, and where to go as if she'd been rehearsing for months. All the work had been paying off. She found herself hoping to go on as any of the roles she was understudying. The only problem was, she had no guaranteed shows. There was a possibility no one would even witness the results of her hard work. 

Phase 5 - Full Moon: The show opened and closed in what felt like a blink of an eye. Our wonderstudy never had the chance to go on stage as any of the main characters she was understudy. At first, she felt disappointed, but then realized that she needs not the approval of the audience. Our wonderstudy had proven to herself that not only can she handle the pressure but she can also do it, and make it look effortlessly. The fact that she didn't get to showcase her talent did not mean that she had no talent. She was always a full moon, a complete artist. Talented in singing, dancing, acting AND understudying. 

Many of us tend to compare ourselves with what the world thinks of us, or even with different versions of ourselves. We forget that what people see of us, is not always the full picture. It all depends on angles and lighting. Depends on what phase of your life you might be at. Just because you only got to show half of you, doesn't mean you`re incomplete...